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    November 25

    doubt

    it's a busy and awful workday. things as i think negativly will never be done. i doubt my ability to be efficient. what's worse, today i should have attended a lecture at GuBei, the other college zone in urban area of shanghai. but i didn't. coz i thought that my friend will attend it in stead of me. however it turned out that she didn't go either. i was very worried what if i failed to graduate for the reason of lack of enough academic score. i don't to whom i should ask. what should i do? how do i handle the awful situation? i have no one to blame, no one to ask for help, no one to experience my current depressed mood.
    i have got many things to do. the expected and the unexpected. life is full of surprise and depress. i would like to have a good rest. leave me alone. turn off the light, keep quiet.
    November 24

    busy

    these days more and more things start to come to me. Actually these should have been what i should do.  i just didn't realize in the beginning that i would be that busy. i am afraid i accomplish mission so slow that all the time of myself is devoted to it. no spare time!!! as a result, i felt that time passes so fast as fast can be. maybe tomorrow i will have a little leisure time. who knows?
    i found out that if i don't listen to what frenchmen said attentively, i simply can not understand what he is talking about. hope next time one of them discusses with me, no important information is missed.
     
    November 19

    松江

         今天去松江赴了場招聘會,那人叫一個多啊,我的包都被擠的變形了,小腿從上午8:40分開始排隊,排了一個多小時才輪到我們進體育館,還好有她在,要不然我10點多到的我不知道要排到什麽時候了。
         這該死的松江怎么那么冷,一出地鐵寒風便撲面而來,從松江回來后,鼻子就塞住了,眼淚情不自禁的留下來,噴嚏一個接一個,我肯定是感冒了,現在視線還很模糊,眼眶濕潤潤的,隨時有會掉下眼淚水,鼻子早已失去嗅覺,呼吸只能靠嘴巴,難受難受真難受。萬惡的松江,萬惡的天氣!!!
         不過,雖然感冒了,我還是投了十幾份簡歷,用英語介紹了自己,算沒有白去,我想每一次機會都是一種鍛煉吧。哈哈,小wigi繼續加油,感冒快快好^_^
    November 11

    first day of my internship

    on my first day of internship, excitement and worry at the same time accompany me.  but when i get there, i find out that actually people there are very friendly to each other. the chief of admin, my boss introduct me to all the employees and employers, including there french big guns. and i shake hands with one of them, saying "bonjour". its quite good although it's not a big deal. my mentor teaches me a lot. but i think it takes time to digest all of it. the first thing i should do is to keep english name,look and chinese name in mind coz they are the people i serve. so, keep moving forward.
    due to different size of my feet and not adaption of wearing highheels, i get my feet hurt. i have to leave it in office and go back home wearing running shoes.
    after all, it is a day of harvest. that's it.
    November 07

    变化

         前面写的东西都被delete了,写的是自己心情的细微变化,想写出来看看是什么原因导致心情的变化,在写的时候也在思考,想着想着就觉得这些事情没什么大不了,写出来没什么意思,还是删了吧。我觉得很多时候我心情不好都是因为对自己,对他人,对事物的变化期望太高,其实,这句话包含了许多值得思考的问题,比如我自己的问题,别人的问题,可以改进的问题,根深蒂固的矛盾等等,但是我能做的仅仅是把这句话写出来,有些话不知道怎么说,不知道应不应该说,不知道对谁说,又不知道自己有没有勇气说。我觉得自己是个完美主义者,这是很可悲也是很痛苦的,因为我希望周围的人能够向我期待他们的方向发展,如果事与愿违,我会很失望;觉得自己是个唯我论者,以为自己所想的东西也是别人所想的,以为自己认为正确的别人也会认为是正确。哎,人又不是我造出来的,怎么可能把他们塑造成心中所想呢,这个世界根本就没有正确与错误二分法,只有人们自己认为的正确与错误。所以,我看开了,别人是别人,与我无关,我是我,我得把自己塑造的好一点,其实这个“好”要细说又能说出许许多多的点。目前对我来说最重要的是三度----“气度”“态度”“风度”。态度要严谨,尤其是实习的时候,既然上班了,就要有职业操守,尽心尽责,做事不马虎,虚心请教大人;要大气,胸襟宽广,不要小肚鸡肠,没什么事过不去的,要勇往直前,天塌下来当被盖(爸爸的至理名言,我喜欢!),风度是一种转变,从学生到员工的过度,要有一种员工的风度,这是我隐约感觉到的,具体的说不清楚。